BY MITA ARORA
Some time ago, I tried to play the role of Cupid for a few of my friends and realised that dating is becoming more difficult and stressful, especially for people who have recently relocated to Goa.
A lot of people who have become new residents here shared that it took them some time to realise that Goa is a lot more than nightlife and sunny days on the beach.
Here, customs, traditions and respect play a vital role in developing any relationship. Dating, too, comes with commitment and investment towards the future.
The term "dating" has different connotations for different people across Goa. Some claim that any one-on-one encounter, wherever it occurs, qualifies as a date.
For some, asking someone out on a date to get to know them better after making their romantic intentions clear counts as a date.
Additionally, there are certain dates like platonic dates where neither of the individuals involved expresses any romantic intentions.
The most intriguing aspect was that the majority of the 60+ people I met, a few of whom were also Goans, expressed a desire to find a friend. They preferred spending time with people who could relate to them and support them in difficult situations.
A "romantic date" is one where, if everything goes well, they will be interested in getting close. The emotions are strong here, as are the expectations.
The most intriguing aspect was that the majority of the 60+ people I met, a few of whom were also Goans, expressed a desire to find a friend. They preferred spending time with people who could relate to them and support them in difficult situations.
The romance is not given top priority. Women, particularly those over the age of 35, working in Goa, expressed that they would prefer to date someone who is slightly older than them and is ready to get hitched soon.
In all age groups, there was a strong desire to feel an immediate connection. Even those in their 20s desired instant gratification.
While few men, Goans and those who have relocated here, at the age of 35 plus admitted that they prefer casual dating. If everything goes well, they wouldn't mind getting married to the same person in the near future either.
They are looking for a fun-loving woman who is not overbearing, is financially independent, loves to travel and cook, and is between the ages of 25 and 30, but not older.
Most people believe that as women get older, they have trouble adjusting.
In all age groups, there was a strong desire to feel an immediate connection. Even those in their 20s desired instant gratification.
Is this likely the basis for some dating apps' ability to entice users and convince them to pay upfront for a potential compatible match? The match inspires hope and motivates the person to go on the date in order to break out of their rut, especially when it comes from a paid application.
The people I met and interacted with in North Goa explained why they no longer use dating apps and instead prefer to meet people who have recommendations.
You'll likely meet someone with a Photoshopped profile; it's possible to fake one’s marital status. He or she might be a con artist. Greater than the fear of rejection is the fear of being taken advantage of.
How can you be in a situation where the spark is felt unless all of your senses are tuned in to the person in front of you? Relationships are not like some of the reels on digital platforms that you can keep swiping until you enjoy them with someone for a while.
Dating woes don't just affect single people, divorcees, widows and widowers in Goa. They also affect married couples and romantic partners. The magic of talking and connecting with someone is destroyed by the need to check your phone frequently.
How can you be in a situation where the spark is felt unless all of your senses are tuned in to the person in front of you? Relationships are not like some of the reels on digital platforms that you can keep swiping until you enjoy them with someone for a while.
Relationships take time to grow; both parties involved require nurturing. Dating is important even if you are married or committed too. Go out with your partner/fiancé, be a couple, take a night off from the stress and go out to dinner.
Try to learn more about what is going on in each other's lives outside of work. What dreams do they have? What would be their dream destination? What do they prefer to wear, watch and eat these days? Who do they hang out with? Observe with appreciation and focus on areas that require improvement.
Dating is a way to get to know someone you may or may not know better. It provides a chance to re-evaluate both new and old relationships.
The only guarantee that comes with dating is an experience – every person is unique, and evolves with time. The more we take time out to meet, the more we know, the more our horizon broadens about other things.
Opening up to possibilities is letting the ray of hope in. Make use of the abundant beautiful locales and explore them time and again with the person in your life. Moments create memories. Make them as magical as possible for your friends and partner.