Into every life must fall some rain, come some sorrow. But what if there seems no rainbow to signal some respite or reprieve from pain and suffering?
It takes a great deal of courage and resilience to pick yourself up every time you are down and continue your journey without allowing bitterness to become your travel companion.
Lakshmi Unny’s journey with her son Ranjit AKA Prince, is one such life. Trial upon trial befell this mother of three, whose eldest son began suffering from schizophrenia from the age of 19, but she stood tall and continued in her struggle for a semblance of stability.
Lakshmi Unny’s memoir Journey with my Prince is the encapsulation of the exemplary life of a mother who did everything in her capacity to care for her mentally ill son. The book was released on October 10, 2024 at GCCI (Goa Chamber of Commerce & Industry), Panjim.
Lakshmi moved to Goa just before the state’s liberation from the Portuguese. She’d had a happy childhood in Kerala and early motherhood was a joy. Then life threw a curveball her way that would resemble a relentless dark storm.
Her son’s initial diagnosis was something she had not encountered before. Indeed, in a time where not much was known about mental illness in scientific terms among the general public, it was always attributed to black magic, possession or some other such explanation.
Lakshmi was determined to take the scientific approach in helping her son. With single-minded determination she unabashedly looked for answers, going beyond her ambit of knowledge. No fear of stigma or shame could hold this mother back from achieving her goal of alleviating her son’s suffering.
In her travails, searching for solutions, she learnt to accept that Prince’s erratic behaviour was not her fault but the result of the disease.
“She had to delve into this complex world of schizophrenia, and her story is one of tough decisions, sleepless nights and unwavering dedication. One of the challenges was caring deeply for a person who rarely acknowledged her efforts and would end up believing that actually the mother that did everything for him was his enemy,” said Dr Peter Castelino of COOJ (Cause of Our Joy Mental Health Foundation), speaking about Lakshmi Unny.
“Her story shines a light on unsung heroes of caregiving, often hidden from public view.”
Dr Peter Castelino - Psychiatrist and Managing Trustee of COOJ Mental Health Foundation
As a mother, she had to sometimes sacrifice her time with her other children, Rati and Rakesh, to care for Prince. Despite this, the love and care between the siblings and their mother only went from strength to strength.
There were, of course, many people who appeared as angels to help Lakshmi every time she found herself in dire straits. Dr Ramesh took Prince in when he was having a psychotic episode and had been denied care by other hospitals.
Financially strained, she was given whatever she needed to care for Prince during this time. “I guess if your spirit is in the right place, the heavens take over,” said Dr Peter Castelino, commenting on the situation.
Another doctor taught Lakshmi to empathise with her son, to understand that it was the disease that was causing the change in his behaviour and that he was still her child beneath it all.
She went beyond allopathy to care for her son, using other holistic alternative medicines when conventional medicine failed to do its job. Realising that the burden she was carrying was far too much to handle alone, she set up a carers group where carers could support each other.
Lakshmi Unny became connected with COOJ in 2004, establishing the Vasco centre of the foundation in trying to find the right rehabilitation centre for Prince. She became one of the trustees.
Dr Castelino said, “Her story shines a light on unsung heroes of caregiving, often hidden from public view.”
All proceeds from the sale of Journey with my Prince will go to COOJ Mental Health Foundation. The book is available on Amazon for Rs 299.