Here we are in the year 2024, celebrating womanhood in Goa, confronted with the realisation that women today are breaking free from the confines of expectations. On one hand, women are shattering stereotypes, and navigating their own destinies.
Yet, on the other hand, 21st-century women leave their workplace only to encounter a predetermined script awaiting them at home – marriage, family, children – the roadmap seems preordained.
Society sends us mixed messages: pursue a career and be the empowered woman, yet also prioritise family and embrace domesticity.
While some seem to effortlessly balance both, many of us find ourselves juggling these conflicting expectations. Is it so hard to accept a woman who prioritises her career? She's not neglecting her family; she's simply striving to secure a better future for them through her hard work.
LIFE IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE
Sometimes it feels like we're living in parallel universes where we are constantly struggling to make progress in careers while feeling the pressure to fulfil family responsibilities.
A Social Media Manager and Coach from Saligao, Karen Joann Fernandes, sheds light on what it means to be a strong, independent woman. She emphasises self-reliance, confidence, assertiveness, resilience, and independence as key attributes. But she also acknowledges the challenges women face on this journey.
“Unfortunately, strong women often face stereotypes like being seen as intimidating or unfeminine. But strength comes in many forms, and these stereotypes are outdated. Strong women empower others and should be celebrated for their determination and ability to carve their own path in life,” adds Fernandes.
INDEPENDENCE AND VALUES
Core Faculty in Public Administration, Goa Institute of Public Administration & Rural Development (GIPARD), Hegel Da Costa, says, “Independence and ambition involve knowing one's own value and asserting it. Ambitious women face unique challenges, including striking a balance between family responsibilities and work duties, while also finding time for personal hobbies and joys.”
She observes that despite these challenges ambitious women face, the beauty lies in their ability to navigate the balancing act and pursue their goals against all odds.
WHAT ARE WE EVEN JUDGING?
Sometimes, we're too quick to judge those who choose to focus on their roles within the home. Being a perfect mother and mother-in-law is a noble endeavour, one that requires dedication and sacrifice.
“I am a full-time mother and despite choosing a simple life, people constantly ask me why I'm not working. They say I could support my husband and earn a living. For me, I have worked for years and I am free to make choices at any given time,” expresses Aparna (name changed), a mother of two sons from Savordem, challenging the notion of putting women in boxes.
She emphasises that the struggle to fulfil all roles never ends for women.
DO YOUR OWN THING!
Meanwhile, a 21-year-old college student, Alisha Fernandes, who is aiming to choose a career path is left feeling clueless. “I have a plan in life which is so uncertain. I know marriage is the ultimate goal and a career is part of it. But I am choosing to be my own guide. It's all a challenge, and not even men or women have it easy,” she says.
COMPLEXITY AND EXPERIENCES
So, here’s a thing in a world where women are constantly judged and expectations are high, it's important to recognise the complexity of their experiences. Whether we're climbing the corporate ladder or tending to the hearth, each path is valid and worthy of respect.
Let's move away from rigid expectations and instead celebrate the myriad ways in which women contribute to the world. Whether we're excelling in the boardroom or nurturing our families, our worth is not defined by societal standards, but by the authenticity of our choices and the impact we make.
So, dear women, it is okay to be where you are and what you are doing! There is no one-size-fits-all approach to success and fulfilment.